Okay, so this is an old blog I wrote on Facebook a few years ago (hence the '35' part), but I felt it was the perfect intro to my official blogging experience. So, here we go....
You know, I would never go back to my 20s. I've discovered that in your 30s you finally realize those personality quirks that you were always told were annoying, are the very things that give you character. They have probably contributed quite a bit to most of your greatest relationships! I actually like myself :-)
I don't mind so much if I don't have a supermodel body, flawless skin or the latest and greatest in brand name clothes. It's okay if I'm not a 'morning person'....I probably never will be. I don't read. I don't vacuum but maybe once every few months, and I NEVER dust!!! (My poor husband's allergies should be some kind of motivation right?!?!?) My toenails only get painted once the old polish has grown off, unless I'm in a wedding or going somewhere tropical. In your 30s you realize that these things don't make you who you are. 'Who you are' isn't something you wear on your body, drive around town in or what you sit your bottom on while watching reality television so your life seems better. It's not even about those who you cling yourself to in the hopes they will rub their 'coolness' off on you and create some miraculous change by osmosis. Who I am is who I've always been. I've decided to quit sizing 'me' up against the whole world and to work harder for the change I really want in my life. Of course, with realistic expectations.
So, as I said, I like myself. I'm caring, a good mom, a loving wife, a fair boss, compassionate, passionate, a trustworthy friend, I guess you could say I'm overall a 'nice person'.
The only thing I can contribute this 'relevation' to, is knowing the source of this contentment, this 'peace of mind' I have tapped into. I don't fake or pretend to know it all, expect to be right to the death or feel the urge to cram this truth down the throats of those around me. But, if I am loved this much by someone Whom I have never even met, Who has given me all the amazing and undeserving relationships and opportunities in this life......shouldn't I give Him credit? Without apology, and without fear of being accused or laughed at (seeing as how I'm such a 'nice person')? And doesn't He also deserve, at the very least, my willingness to be less worried about me and more focused on what He sees in me?
Yes, being in my 30s is BEYOND better than my 20s. Insecurity has found it's way to the door and can let itself out, not to say I don't make the mistake of giving it my attention again every now and then. But, there's a pretty strong understanding that I am "taken" and am forever changed. I am growing forward and am not looking back. Jesus' name is no embarrassment to me, His love for me is never ending and His sacrifice for me is impossible to pay back. So, I just try to give Him this life that He first gave me by loving others with just a speck of what He has shown to be true love without condition. The best part is, He likes 'me' too. :-)
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